I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
