I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
