Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
