It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize