i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
