I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
