Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize