Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
there's paper in my vomit.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
