He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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