He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He felt like a one man threesome
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
