I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
