Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
