I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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