I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
