I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
