I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Small penises have feelings too.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
