I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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