Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
