Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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