she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
