what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
