It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
