would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
