i just had sex bonerless
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
