You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
