We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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