Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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