broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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