I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
