super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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