I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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