Sry I called you an 8
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
