you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
