ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
