Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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