I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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