So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
