i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
