he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just pee around me
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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