Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
