taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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