just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize