he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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