I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
