nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
