I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
