Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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