He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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