that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize