There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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