D3 body, D1 cock
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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