Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
