So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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