I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
