your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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