i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
third nipple confirmed
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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