I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sorry about my life...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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