apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
