we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
