Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
