Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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