I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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